Awakening From Your Anger

Category: Miscellaneous

  • Ghosts

    Everyone struggles with ghosts, usually the residue of our childhood or other significant emotional traumas.

    These are resolvable — if we will do the work.

    In my case, the ghost has been the disappointments wherein I have attempted to promote myself, either through my workshops or my books. I sincerely believe that the skills and resources I offer are vital in the seeking to be the best human being I can be. They work. They work for me; they work for others.

    But I am a strong introvert and an amateur in promoting myself. I have not been successful and slowly have become discouraged. In the past, I have been strongly self-motivated, and what surprises me now is how strongly dependent I have become on external motivation. It is not a bad thing yet in now engaging with an individual who is both very creative and motivated to promote my work, my enthusiasm seems restored.

    The skills and resources I teach can be learned from a book, but they are best learned by regularly engaging in the work with a good facilitator, in this case —me.

    Up until about 2012, I was a physician-psychotherapist and had my own anger management program. I called it ‘anger management’ for two reasons. First, it was an easy issue that people could identify in their lives. Second, and more important, is my belief that anger is the canary in the coalmine of our culture — it reveals our deep lack of understanding of emotional issues in our culture. My work is not that of anger management — it is that of emotional management, especially how to integrate the emotional and the rational to the transrational.

    My workshop was a 17-hour weekend program, experiential, every two-to-three weeks, in which I engaged with 15-20 individuals who struggled with anger issues in their lives. Because I was a physician in Ontario, my workshop was covered by the provincial health insurance program, and thus individuals (men and women from all walks of life) could attend without charge. They could be doctors and lawyers or individuals who had spent most of their lives in jail. I also used these programs to supply my ongoing groups of people who wanted deeper engagement, meeting weekly as needed.

    For the most part, my workshop came out of my own growth. By age 40, I was a very competent professional anaesthetist yet deeply unhappy with my own ghosts of a very painful childhood. I started to engage with good experiential therapy and soon realized the field to be the most creative experience I have encountered — I switched to training as a therapist and spent years resolving my own ghosts. Amongst other learnings, I came to recognize that the skill I bring as a therapist is my own humanness.

    Although the deeper work of my clients was done in the groups, people changed their lives with the single weekend. There were many occasions wherein an individual could come for the single weekend but did not have the resources for ongoing attendance. It was not uncommon for that someone to show up in my driveway thanking me because their lives changed with that single weekend. Examples are listed in Appendix 4 of my book Blowing Out the Darkness.

    After about 20 years of this practice, I noted how a portion of my group client load did not engage with the work; they watched other people doing the work yet did not do so themselves. Without being pejorative, I characterized them as lazy (they avoided the work) or fearful (they were afraid of the consequences of doing the work). There was no therapy I could offer them other than challenging them to engage.

    As a consequence, I decided to do my PhD studying laziness and fearfulness. When I added self-righteousness to this mix, I recognized an ancient process acedia as having a modern form of any combination of laziness, fearfulness, and self-righteousness that blocked the individual from engaging in authentic living. I also posited that modern acedia is the underlying emotional basis of climate change. Climate change is a technological issue, yet we do not resolve it because of our cultural acedia. (All this is described in my second book Acedia, the Darkness Within).

    I ‘retired’ (semi-retired) fifteen years ago, moved to British Columbia, and since then I do individual work, calling myself a coach. I have spend a lot of time and money attempting to promote my two books, unsuccessfully (again being an amateur).

    With the current encouragement, I have decided to focus on promoting myself. I am available both for individual and corporate consulting, for the management of any emotional issues, including life satisfaction, leadership, burnout, and group functioning. If people find my work useful, the spin-off will be my books are promoted.

    If what I have written tweaks your interest, connect with me at [email protected]. I will also be modifying my website davemacquarrie.com to have less focus on my books and more focus on what I can offer.

    Thanks. Hope to meet you.

  • The Search 2 – Introduction 2

    For simplicity, I have decided to entitle any future posts related to this book The Search To Be Fully Alive as The Search # – Chapter n #. These may change over time but for now provide consistency. Ideally, there will be about two posts per week.

    I ended the previous post by indicating I will discuss what I mean by ‘being fully alive.’ I regard the term as nuanced and in attempting to grasp this term myself, I draw largely on my client experience, especially of that third group of clients who cleared up the pony tracks of their lives[1] (some of this experience is described in more detail in ‘Appendix D – Recidivism’ of my book Blowing Out the Darkness):

    SC, a long history of drug abuse and violent crimes: ‘For almost two years now, I have been working with Dave … I no longer think about not living, or harming others … I am peaceful with myself most of the time.

    DD, 51yo, well-educated, chronically raging: I had been in counselling on and off since my last year of high school. … I really did not know how or when the change occurred that weekend; I just know that it did. … I have been working with Dave for six months now … The results I want are coming. I am getting the results because of the work I do, not because of anything Dave does. He merely offers me the tools, steering me towards the right tool of the job.

    MK, a 53yo lawyer in burnout: I gained clarity about my long-standing and personally debilitating misunderstanding. … I was just holding it together as best I could, and now I don’t have to. I can actually be more effective.

    JS, a Probation Officer of 25 years experience, commenting on the impart on clients of a single 17-hr weekend (most were only able to come to the single weekend because of transport issues): What strikes me most, however, is the way post-MacQuarrie probation clients communicate that ‘something is different’: they often say they “feel more relaxed”, can “let things go”, feel more capable of making choices about whether or not their emotions escalate, especially over trivial matters. And I find that this is often borne out in their behavior.

    Fundamentally, the people who are more fully alive are peaceful and productive; they have resolved any residual trauma from their past and they cope well with the ongoing stresses of life. When they are angry (or otherwise emotional), they are aware of what they want in their emotionality, yet they do not impose on others; they are able to negotiate what they need. They are rational; they understand and accept that life is a series of difficulties; that wisdom comes from working through such difficulties. They are relational, satisfied with their family systems and their communities. Whatever their belief systems, they usually have a deepening spirituality and trust of life. In spite of the turmoil of our civilization, they strive to contribute.

    So what am I doing as therapist and what am I potentially suggesting to clients in their search to be fully alive? One aspect is that I function from what I call High Intention – Low attachment. My intention is to be the absolutely best therapist and human being that I can be – I do not pretend to be other than who I am. My job is to elicit a relationship of compassion and trust, supportive of effective behaviours, and to challenge ineffective patterns. I do my best and I have no attachment to the outcome (it is not in my control). As part of that, I do not ‘should’ my clients, yet I often challenge the ineffective.

    The vast majority of clients first come because of pain in their lives. Imagine you have fallen into a large hole, and you find yourself with a shovel in your hand. What is the first thing you should do? … My suggestion is put the shovel down! At this point, you do not know if you are digging yourself deeper or digging yourself out (likely deeper). Practically speaking, this means calming your energy so that you can think more clearly, not about how you got in but how you can get out! (Thinking about how you got in is usually not useful at this stage; it is much more useful after you get out. The tools for getting out usually are quite different for the tools needed to stop yourself from getting in again.) Getting out may  be complicated, falling back repeatedly. There are many tools for getting out, and even if unsuccessful for this event, they are potential resources for future events. Then, having gotten out, likely you feel much better, more resourceful — and more able to grasp how you got into the hole in the first place.

    Likely, at this point, you can recognize that you actually had not fallen into the hole; you had been digging yourself into the hole without being conscious of it. Now, instead of beating yourself up for your … (stupidity, arrogance, whatever your favourite criticism is) …, you can potentially recognize that there might be tools for you to manage your personal characteristics. So you start learning these tools also. Eventually you end up with a very well-crafted toolbox of life, and you start to gain the benefits of being more fully alive.

    Sooner or later, you also recognize that all human beings struggle with falling into holes; that no one is perfect and that we are all simply on journeys of life. At this point, you start to build better relationships, recognizing that we are relational beings. Perhaps you also start to develop a spirituality of what it is all about — you don’t have to, yet it generally makes more sense when you do. You don’t have to call it God, just that something bigger is going on.

    Personally, since it may come up later in these posts, I do call it God, sometimes Star Maker. I don’t do it to impose on others; rather, it makes the conversations easier and offers more tools to explore.

    [1] I am very clear that this growth on the part of the clients occurred because they did the necessary work. I was fortunate to be the therapist who was able to facilitate that work with them. I regard myself as a very competent therapist and it is entirely possible that the clients could have done their growth work with some other therapist(s). In writing this book, I talk about myself and my own skills, not to laud myself, rather because I know myself. There are other very good therapists, and unfortunately it is often a fishing trip to find them.

  • The Search To Be Fully Alive

    On my last post, I noted my intention to write a third book (beside my first two, see previous) entitled The Search To Be Fully Alive: The What and The How. This choice came about for two main reasons: I was seeking to engage further both with my blog and with my life. In particular, I was dissatisfied with how inactive I have been with this blog (I have been sporatic since 2020). I decided to combine the two issues by using the blog as a stepping stone to the book, hopefully cutting and pasting future posts to form the body of the book. I hope the book will end up at about 80-100 pages: long enough to be comprehensive and short enough to be readable. As part of this, I have asked for feedback from subscribers as to the clarity and interest of such future posts. Appreciations for same.

    Here I want to address three questions (two here; the third, the next post): 1) why a third book; 2) what does the ‘search’ mean, and 3) what do I mean by ‘fully alive’?

    Much of the answer to all three is summed up in the header to this blog: ‘Between Climate Change, the risk of Nuclear War, and the political instability of our times, we are an angry culture. Unresolved anger is dangerous while resolved anger is powerful. This site is about making the shift to resolved anger. It is also about making the shift to being a mature adult, being at peace and being of service to a world badly in need of leadership.’

    More specifically as to why a third book, it is one of my major ways for me to contribute. I am a retired physician (specialist anaesthetist) and psychotherapist. My first book Blowing Out the Darkness: The Management of Emotional Life Issues, Especially Anger and Rage came from my awareness of how angry we are as a culture. My second book Acedia, The Darkness Within, and the darkness of Climate Change came from the recognition of how powerless and overwhelmed we feel as individuals and as a culture, with consequent anger. This book addresses how we contribute.

    I have deliberately called this book The Search … because, for me and a significant number of my therapy clients, it has been a search. Up until 1983 at age 40 (I am currently 82), I was a very competent physician-anaesthetist when my life fell apart; I knew I was heading in the same direction as my father in that he committed suicide when he was 49. Reputedly at one point, he had said ‘Never go to a psychiatrist who is less intelligent than you are’ — in similar fashion, my limited experience of therapy up to that point was not helpful. Fortunately, I found good experiential therapy and my life changed; it cost me a lot of time and money, which I fortunately had as a consequence of my profession. It entailed major searching, not available to most with more limited life circumstances.

    The outcome was I became a very competent therapist, mainly focused on my own anger management program. As I studied my clients, I came to characterize them as falling into what I came to call ‘pony tracks.’ I imagine you the reader has been to the circus and seen the ponys, the ones the kids ride. The kids are having fun but what about the ponys walking around their well-worn tracks, dressed in their pretty bangles — they look bored or in some other kind of emotional pain. Most clients are like this: in pain undoubtedly, frequently hiding their angst, and lost in the same dysfunction day after day.

    I could work with about 90% of people — about 10% wanted to work with a woman therapist or found me too intellectual or something. They might come for a session or two, and then not return. The rest fell into three roughly equal groups of individuals.

    It would normally take me anywhere between one and six sessions to identify the pattern of pain, the ‘pony track’. We would then discuss the nature of the difficulty and decide what next. At this point, about 30% would say to me something like “You know, now that I recognize the nature of the issue, I can live with it, and besides, it would cost me too much to change it (they might have to give up their marriage or a lucrative job or some other cost).” At this point, we would do some clean-up and they would leave. Remotely they might come back in the future.

    The remaining 60% would want to work further. This would usually entail another three to six months of work whereupon they would get out of pain. Half of them would leave at this point as having accomplished what they wanted, in particular out of pain. Perhaps they would also come back at a future time.

    The final third, again out of pain, would be appreciative yet would say something like “You know, now that I am out of that pony track, I recognize another pony track (often one that they could not see because of the first one)”. Over the years, as I worked with this third group, I found that most people have anywhere between three and six pony tracks, which when resolved (perhaps over two or three years of work), resulted in deep satisfaction in the life of that client. It truly was a search for these individuals to come to this point in their lives.

    That search was made easier in that as a physician in the Canadian province of Ontario, my therapy services were paid by the provincial health plan. A blessing for clients, I eventually switched exclusively to group psychotherapy so as to minimize my client list; clients came to my weekend workshops on anger management as well as word-of-mouth (including other therapists), then they joined one of my groups (no waiting list). This became the basis of my first book.

    Thus the financial burden of the cost was significantly reduced; most people cannot afford extensive therapy. The search is further compromised by finding a therapist who is a good fit yet has the skill and maturity to challenge the client to do the work. The deeper work is not understanding; it is emotional at the other-than-conscious level. I tell clients that the work is frequently that of exploring a swamp looking for buried treasure; as therapist, I know how to explore swamps but I don’t know the client’s individual swamp.

    Next post: Being fully alive.

  • Apologies

    Indeed. I have gotten far too busy with a Theology course (massive reading) likely until April.

    I will return. Anger Management is far too important in our culture.

    Dave

  • Transforming Anger into Emotional Resilience

      There have been a number of posts show up in my email this past week that remind me of the need for this blog. In a recent post, Jack Kornfield, a noted American Buddhist, writes “When self-righteous anger arises, we can let it go. Retaining our own fierce clarity, we too can seek justice, yet do so with a loving heart.” There is a lot of self-righteous anger in our societies, Canadian and American. I agree with the sentiment expressed by Jack yet letting go of anger was never my forte. I could have spend years exploring Buddhist meditation, but it likely would not have touched the Family of Origen issues that underlay my anger — it took nearly ten years of good experiential therapy for me to resolve my issues (such work then became the basic of the anger management program that I developed and taught for twenty years).

      Having developed these skills, I can probably lead others to resolution within a few years (if they will do the work). For a beginning approach, check out the thirty or so postings listed under “Postings / Anger Management”. There were originally a series of 30 emails that I sent out over a period of 90 days, twice a week, with the suggestion to read and practice some simple skills. They generally gave people the necessary skills for better management of emotional issues, and if they wanted more, they could choose to work with me via Zoom or in-person.

      Incidentally, I call it ‘anger management’ because that is what attracts interest — it is really emotional life management; the skills are applicable to any emotional issue. I’ll add to this in a moment.

      Another email post from a few weeks ago described how a dozen hooded and masked individuals in Hamilton, Ontario gathered to rally behind the racist and xenophobic slogan popularized by Trump: “mass deportations now”. Such a process is highly unusual for Canada yet seems to be part of the growing rage throughout North America. From my perspective, it is likely that such intolerance arises from a sense of powerlessness related to the major dysfunctionality of our civilization. It is unlikely that such individuals would want to undertake my anger management program. But they do illustrate the needs of our society — such will likely increase given the current atmosphere in the States.

      Another post added to this: “Lonely, Addicted, and Living Without a Higher Purpose? An open letter to younger men struggling.” A second noted: “Road rage has soared in an increasingly angry nation: People are just overwhelmed.” Both of these were protected by paywalls so I did not read the details — I can imagine though.

      All of these have become common stories; all of these require good anger management.

      I was a physician-psychotherapist practicing in Ontario for more than twenty-five years. As a physician in Ontario, my therapy practice was paid though the Ontario Health Insurance Plan (OHIP); all any Ontario client had to do was say they wanted to work with me — OHIP paid for it. If I moved to a new location, I could have a waiting list within three weeks — lucky for me, lucky for clients.

      Part of my training included a Master’s degree in Applied Behavioral Sciences, functionally a degree in how people function in groups. After a few years, as I developed my weekend anger management program, I got tired to telling people that if they wanted to do individual therapy with me, it was a two-year waiting list. Eventually I switched to exclusive group therapy, and fed my groups from people who attended by anger management weekends. My wife and I had a day-retreat center where we each practiced our careers (my wife is a brilliant trainer in NeuroLinguistic Programming). Eventually also, I wrote my first book Blowing Out the Darkness: The Management of Emotional Life Issues, Especially Anger and Rage.[1]

      I am not interested in blowing my own horn, but my anger management program was effective for a wide range of people. Every three to six months, someone would stop by our center and tell me that their lives changed after a single weekend workshop. A Probation Officer sent me approximately 60 individuals over the years — only one re-offended after that single weekend. A senior Police Officer believed my program to be the best program he had ever encountered. A Justice of the Supreme Court would on occasion specifically recommend my weekend as part of his dispositions.

      I know that all troublesome issues of anger-rage are resolvable — the limitation is the willingness of the client to do the work (which I will describe in ensuing posts). The other major limitation is for the client to find good anger management. From my perspective, most programs are not very good — they mainly tell people what they should be doing. They work for many people because many people are highly motivated. Yet my groups were filled with people for whom such instructions did not work — they were motivated but they needed more. Specifically I did not tell people what they should be doing!

      As a taster of what is to come: What is the matter with being angry? Or being enraged? … Is it the anger, or something else? I suggest it is something else. The basic issue is not the anger or rage. It is that someone did not feel safe in the presence of anger/rage!

      Stay tuned. The next post will look at safety!

    [1] Although written in 2009, I rebranded the book in 2023. The current book is available on Amazon and other sourses from the publisher: MacQuarrie, Dave. Blowing Out The Darkness: The Management of Emotional Life Issues, Especially Anger and Rage. Metairie, LA: The Ewings Publishing LLC (2023), https://www.theewingspublishing.com/product/blowing-out-the-darkness-the-management-of-emotional-life-issues-especially-anger-and-rage/. Or from davidmacquarriebooks.com.

  • Transforming Anger: Emotions as Energy for Change

      As noted previously, I had my own anger management program for 25 years, likely dealing with about 4000 people with various issues of anger. I had long concluded that anger is the canary in the coalmine of our culture – it is the measure of how dysfunctional our civilization has become.

      Thus, I focus on anger as the beginning of change. I strongly believe that unresolved anger is dangerous whereas resolved anger is a powerful source for change. Given the current dysfunction of our culture, we need our anger so as to generate change, ideally for the better. If our anger is unresolved, any change generated is likely to worsen our dysfunction whereas if we come to terms with the nature of our anger, we have choice as to how we use it.

      So, what is anger? First of all, anger is an emotion. So, what is an emotion? My working definition is ‘energy to which I give meaning and direction.’ Emotions are the interface between mind (meaning) and body (direction). My best way of describing them is via what is called the Action Model.

      Something happens in life, a stimulus S. Eventually, we respond, R. In the interim, we Sense it (the earliest awareness is called the F1 state). We Evaluate it via our values, beliefs, memories, and expectations (VBMEs), and we make Meaning of it, our story. We develop a Plan of action as to how to respond and we mobilize our Energy to respond, our emotions. And, ideally, we respond (if we feel safe) — we move our energy into the environment. The system works well (and is prone to various glitches, to be described in later blog posts).

      Think of a time that you have been angry. Feel the residual anger as you now experience it. Notice I did not say ‘the anger you had then.’

      Emotions are a present-time body experience — you cannot feel what you experienced yesterday or at any other time; you can only feel ‘now.’ You can think about yesterday, but you can only feel ‘now.’

      That said, feel your anger. Point with one finger to the location of your anger in your body. For most people, they will point to their upper chest, yet some will point to their jaw or their abdomen or other areas. Although we have the single word ‘anger,’ each individual will have their own unique experience.

      Emotions, in general, are describable as a single word, in the ‘now’ moment, and dependent on meaning. As a child when you were learning language, perhaps someone took your toy, and you were upset. Then mummy or daddy said, “Don’t be angry.” You now had a new word to describe both your behaviour and your internal state. You also learned that the word was fraught with difficulty — you shouldn’t be angry. Yet, at the same time, it is likely that no one taught you what to do with this uncomfortable inner state. Now as an adult, when you encounter this body state again, you know to call it ‘anger’ and perhaps you still do not know what to do with it. If you do know what to do, you likely have a sense of power.

      In general, the simple emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, joy are such that they are characterized by a sense of power — you can do something when you experience them. Anger, for example, is an emotion of uninvited or imposed disruption of your boundaries wherein you are capable of pushing back against the disruption. It is the energy of significant difference in a closed space, a relationship.

      If you don’t feel capable of pushing back, the emotion tends to expand, and we give it a different name — ‘rage.’ Rage is the attempt to mobilize action and power in situations of anger where you feel powerless. Furthermore, if the situation becomes overwhelming, one option is to move to self-righteousness as a further protective mechanism in boosting your sense of power.

      In similar fashion, our sadness becomes despair when powerless and laziness (f—k it!) when overwhelmed. Our fear becomes terror and then fearfulness, and our joy becomes ecstasy and then some form of unitive consciousness.

      There are many other emotional words in our language and the definitions of these words varies considerably. The distinctions I make are:

    • Emotions are a single word descriptor of energy to which I give meaning (mind) and direction (body). I can point to my body as to where I experience them.
    • Feelings are a single word description of energy wherein I point to the relationship I have with others. ‘I feel frustrated’ points to an external person or event. Similarly with ‘I feel included [by …],’ ‘I feel honored [about …],’ and ‘I feel betrayed [by …].’
    • Then, there are feeling judgments, multi-word descriptions of my thoughts about my emotions and feelings. ‘I feel [that] you made an error’ or ‘I feel [that] you liked the meal.’ They represent thoughts that carry an energetic load.

      All of the above is relatively simple to describe, yet there is a problem which will be developed in future posts. It is summed up in a personal story:

    Until my forties, my childhood issues were such that I was emotionally numb. After I had done a number of years of therapy, I said to a friend: “I have learned to feel, and I hate it! It is so g..d.. messy!”

      They are still messy yet now I value them.

  • Navigating My Blog Rebranding Journey

      I had hoped the transition of re-branding the blog would be easy. Unfortunately, no! Amongst the various issues, the home page was weird, the organization of the previous posts was weird, and I don’t have time for resolving such issues. As such, I have over-extended myself.

      However, it just means that I will work through the issues slowly. And, as much as I think this blog is important, I have other more pressing issues.

       First, I am currently being treated for recurrence of prostatic cancer. This is my first priority. It is not a big deal from my perspective; as a physician, I am very knowledgeable of the issues. However, I will be under medical treatment for two years and am at significant risk of muscle wasting and osteoporosis. Thus, I am attending to my diet and my exercise regime plus any other considerations as they occur. This is moderately demanding of my daily time.

      Second, I am a lifetime student, currently attending the Vancouver School of Theology, planning to graduate with a Diploma in Theological Studies this coming Spring. At age 81, the course load is challenging, and also time consuming. After I graduate, I will continue to audit various courses, but they won’t be as demanding of my time.

      And there are the usual issues of daily living in relationship and community.

      To then have the added inconvenience of the blog issues is a nuisance which I will work through slowly, as noted above. But it may be a number of months of reorganization. I intend to keep up with the blog posts, yet they may be a little erratic for the time being.

    That said, on to the next post.

  • Re-branding

    So, what is this rebranding of my blog all about? First, the switch-over has been much more complicated and I am uncertain how long the transition will take, but it will certainly delay my engagement. For now, here is the first post that I planned:

    Human beings are social creatures; that has been our success (and angst) for millenia. Yet it is my belief that we have never before been as angry (enraged might be a better word) with each other and with our cultural institutions as we are now. We are in crisis; we feel powerless and scared by our ineffectiveness in dealing with the current risks of climate change and/or the resurgence of possible nuclear winter. And we do not effectively talk about it.

    This was the focus of the earlier rendition of this blog as The Human Side of Global Warming. In rebranding the blog as Awakening From Your Anger, I am wanting to shift the focus to what can we as individuals do in responding to this crisis. My basic premise is that unresolved anger is dangerous, yet resolved anger is powerful.

    I have taught anger management for almost 25 years. I honestly believe that I have/had the best anger management program in North America but I have never been able to sell it because I step out of the cultural box too much — I encourage people to be angry so that they can work to resolution. At a later stage, I will quote from some of the document in my book Blowing Out the Darkness but space precudes this at the moment.

    In her 2017 book Braving the Wilderness[1], Brené Brown talks about a state that she calls High Lonesome; this was early in the first presidency of Donald Trump. She notes, “The world feels high lonesome and hearbroken to me right now. We’ve sorted ourselves into factions based on our politics and ideology. We’ve turned away for one another and toward blame and rage. We’ve lonely and untethered. And scared. e border.

    Brown further notes, “wouldn’t you think that all of the sorting by politics and beliefs we’ve been doing would lead to more social interaction? … Shouldn’t ‘You’re either with us or against us’ have led to closer ties among the like-minded? The answer to these questions is a resounding and surprising no. At the same time [as] sorting is on the rise, so is loneliness.”

    Now (2024 November 9th), with Trump as American President Elect, I imagine this is what many American Democrats are feeling right now — scared and lonely. And even though the Republicans have had resounding success in the election, Brown notes that, “Ideological bunkers protect us from everything except loneliness and disconnection.” I thus suspect that, in spite all the bravado and excitement, there are many Republicans who are wondering as to what the future offers. Equally, for we Canadians, many of us are caught in the same questions.

    As noted above, the focus of this blog is now how can we use our anger as a powerful force for good. How can we use our loneliness as individuals, social creatures still, come together in responding to our social crises. Coincidentally, an excellent article today in the Guardian (Authoritarians like Trump love fear, defeatism, surrender. Do not give them what they want) parallels the kind of ideas I will be exploring. We are in crisis; we are not defeated. 

    I intend several posts each week and I invite interaction. Although my posts will make suggestions, I invite us to come together, to find ways to engage with each other as we seek greater authenticity and greater effectiveness.

    [1] Quoted in “High Lonesome,” Psychotherapy Networker, Nov/Dec 2017, https://www.psychotherapynetworker.org/article/high-lonesome/, accessed 2024 November 8th.

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  • Awakening From Your Anger — A Rebranding.

    For those of you who follow my writings, you will know that I have not been very active for a year or so. In many respects I had said what I wanted to say about the human side of global warming, and I cannot say that I have had much impact. I do recognize that people appreciate my blog posts but I am wanting a better way to utilize my skills.

    More recently I have been very active in attempting to promote my two books (see below). I indicated in an earlier post that, based on a series of independent reviews, I had received very positive feedback on the two books, and thus believe that it to be very important to gain wider distribution. As a result, I have spent a considerable amount of money in the effort of attracting a major publisher, again with little success.

    In considering what to do, and in discussion with friends, I believe the dominant theme of our culture to be what we (my friends and I) have called anxious anger, especially in the USA but also in Canada. Many, many people seem to feel both powerless and angry at the inefficiency and dehumanizing of our culture, much of which is expressed in the extensive polarization of conflicted situations. Yet such conflict does not yield to effective action. Note the current status of US politics.

    Anger per se is an emotion of unresolved conflict. It is one of the most dangerous of emotions yet can also be the most useful of emotions if combined with effective conflict management. My forte is emotional management, especially the management of conflict. I can be a resource to leadership but leadership per se is not my forte. I am a teacher and a healer; I can work well with others where my skills are useful.

    Thus I have decided to rebrand this blog and focus on the teaching of how to manage anger and conflict effectively. More importantly, I will be focusing on the process of living more effectively and more authentically. In my experience, this leads to a greater ability to cooperate and contribute — we need this.

    In about a week, I will change both the name and the web address of this blog to Awakening From Your Anger, www.AwakeningFromYourAnger.com (likely — I cannot guarantee the name until I actually change it). It should be an easy transition in which the old posts and subscribers are imported to the new site; that is my hope yet technological glitches may occur.

    If you are interested in following my writings, check out the new site. Just before making the transfer, I will send a post indicating the change and just after I will send an additional post, hoping this second post will reach subscribers. If you do not receive both posts and are still interested in following my writings, please re-subscribe. In any event, subscribe if my blog interests you.

    Thanks.

    Dave MacQuarrie.

    Incientally, if you are interested in my two books Blowing Out the Darkness: The Management of Emotional Life Issues, Especially Anger and Rage and Acedia, the Darkness Within, and the darkness of Climate Change, they are now available in a variety of formats: hardcover, paperback, kindle, and audiobook.

    It may be confusing to find them though, partly because there has been considerable rebranding of them as well. Other than being updated to 2023, the content remains the same.

    There are still a few of the original AuthorHouse publications circulating. These have the original covers and have not been updated.

    The books published by Ewings Publishing LLC include hardcover, paperback and audiobook formats (the audiobooks are in the final stages of production). These have the original covers and have been updated. The easiest source is Amazon.com.

    The books published by Stellar Publishing include hardcover and paperback formats (currently in the final stages of production). These have the new cover designs and have been updated. The easiest source is Amazon.com. 

  • Feedback on my Books: Acedia, the Darkness Within

    Acedia, The Darkness Within

    I have continued to promote my books as I still want to have an impact, and I believe what I have written is important.

    My publisher, Ewings Publishing, suggested I hire some professional reviewers who would provide independent objective assessment of my writings. Attached are these assessments.

    The disclaimer provided notes:

    Book Viewpoint Critic

    Overview

    Our book review service comprises a team of readers with a keen eye and genuine passion, for providing thorough reviews to authors, publishers, and literary agents. Recognizing the impact reviews can have on the success of a book we are committed to delivering quality, objective feedback aimed at helping books realize their full potential.

    The Critics

    Our review panel consists of book enthusiasts with an appreciation for literature and a sharp eye for detail in writing. Comprising critics, published authors, librarians, and avid readers, our diverse team ensures a rounded and comprehensive review process from day one. Each reviewer is carefully selected based on their expertise in genres or themes to ensure that every book receives a critique, from someone who truly understands its nuances and context. 

    Disclaimer

    Please be aware: even as we work hard to provide holistic, constructive reviews, all opinions of the external reviewers are strictly subjective and based on the reading experience of the reviewer. Reviews imply value and informational feedback but never guarantee or promise a particular result. Moreover, all reviews are done with integrity and honesty, and our service payment is not biased at all on the outcome of the reviews. The feedback shall only be one of the various tools that authors and publishers use to fine-tune their work.

    Promotional Evaluations: These evaluations are tailored for marketing purposes. Can be used on covers, websites, and promotional materials to enhance book sales.

    Feedback on Acedia, The Darkness Within, and the darkness of Climate Change. (Metairie, LA: The Ewings Publishing LLC, 2023), https://davidmacquarriebooks.com

    Acedia: The Darkness Within

    by

    Dave MacQuarrie

    “Acedia: The Darkness Within” by MacQuarrie is both enlightening and urgent in pointing out acedia. With an interest in battling the depths of human psychology, the truths he writes about psychological avoidance of life’s challenges come very frankly and deeply. Here in this book, he provides much-needed experiential takes on where modern discontent begins and why our emotional underpinnings are linked with cultural and environmental crises. MacQuarrie provides a compelling narrative that is transformative in view toward the addressing and overcoming of pervasive issues.”

    Eliza Montgomery, Book Enthusiast

    “Acedia; The Darkness Within makes an impact, on the conversation about climate change. MacQuarrie effectively connects our challenges to profound spiritual matters offering readers a fresh perspective on sustainability issues. This remarkable book is a must-read for anyone seeking insight, into the underlying aspects of our problems that are often overlooked.”

    Ethan Sullivan, Environmentalist

    “Indeed, the synthesis of ancient wisdom and modern psychological theory in “Acedia: The Darkness Within” by MacQuarrie does impress. The depth of this book lies in the fact that it makes us start over in re-attitude towards personal and social well-being. MacQuarrie furrows deep emotional and cognitive processes standing in the way of our progress. Worthily stimulating at an intellectual level, it is a piece of information usefully applicable to real life. Herein, as much for the learned philosopher as for the layman, MacQuarrie provides a unique perspective that provokes deep study and examination into our collective and individual behaviors in these trying times.”

    Clara Pennington, Philosophy Blogger

    “Tracing the history of acedia from its early Christian origins to modern secular forms, MacQuarrie offers in ‘Acedia: The Darkness Within’ a rich historical view that is at once informative and thought-provoking. He explores how the concept has evolved over the centuries with great care, shedding light on that which bears the impression of an ancient concept on human behavior and social development. MacQuarrie performs an in-depth analysis that not only allows exploration of historical setting but also links past understandings of acedia to contemporary concerns. Therefore, his work turns into a helpful tool for history enthusiasts, cultural scholars, and everyone interested in understanding the intricacies of human nature and the resurfacing of acedia in contemporary times. A really eye-opening book to all those interested in the nexus of history, psychology, and culture.

    Gareth Langley, History Buff

    “MacQuarrie is an erudite, and in this book, he profusely gives his practical advice on the way out of acedia. His touting of wisdom, playfulness, and discipline is in key with current thinking regarding how effective self-help should be conducted. This book provides some concrete, workable strategies to effect real change in everyday life. I would highly recommend it to all those contemplating personal growth and well-being.”

    Sophia Whitmore, Self-Help Blogger

    “Acedia: The Darkness Within offers a deeply spiritual exploration of the pervasive modern problem. Thoughtful integration of theological concepts with a challenge of modernity places MacQuarrie’s work at the top tier of documents in the spirituality genre. He weaves through ancient wisdom and today’s urgent problems to offer readers an in-depth insight into how acedia has undermined contemporary living. Any serious-minded person concerned with deeper levels at the juncture of spirituality and the modern, looming existential crises should read this book.”

    James Carlisle, Spirituality Blogger and Writer

    “MacQuarrie’s urgent and inspiring appeal to address climate change is highlighted in this book, which not only diagnoses acedia but also offers steps, for transformation. It is a must-read for activists and individuals who care about the environment offering insights, into the psychological factors underlying our environmental crisis.”

    Isabel Carter, Environmental Activist

    “Of all the ideas shared, MacQuarrie’s insight into the nature of choice and the place of wisdom was the most valuable to me as an avid educationist. In his book ‘Acedia: The Darkness Within’, he writer delves deep into psychology and philosophy as far as decision making and personal growth are concerned. This should be recommended reading for all teachers because it provides in-depth views on implanting wisdom, resilience, and emotional intelligence in children. It is an important source that educators need to motivate and advise the emerging generation effectively.”

    Henry Beckett, Education Blogger

    “It is in ‘Acedia: The Darkness Within’ that MacQuarrie’s deep understanding of the emotional mind and his creative therapeutic approaches come into their own. Herein lies a useful book about the whims of human behavior and emotional well-being. It is an essential read for mental health advocates and professionals alike, particularly in the real strategies it gives for facing and overcoming the challenges of acedia in modern life.”

    Olivia Kline, Mental Health Advocate

    “MacQuarrie’s revelation of how acedia impacts leadership and health of organizations is a matter of eye-opening knowledge. In ‘Acedia: The Darkness Within’, he investigates how this ancient concept affects modern leadership practices and the general wellness of organizations. This book is timely for all those involved in the development of leadership and corporate training since it comes with hands-on strategies to promote work environments that are healthier and more resilient. MacQuarrie’s work is fertile ground in the category, challenging leaders to deal with emotional and psychological human issues forming the base for organizational success and sustainability.”

    Marion Blake, Leadership Consultant